The Razzleberry Returns from London and finds these in her mailbox...

I didn't really log in during the month, so my account wasn't getting bumped up in visibility. Still got a few keepers!

This first one actually goes all the way back to November. He started off strong but the follow-through was weak.

CAPITALS show ENTHUSIAM and VITALITY!

This last one is the crown jewel of my crop and really speaks for itself. Read it closely :)

And also...

U seem like a fun girl who is like to get to know more ! In more than one way I'd wanna lick u all over and explore every crevice hole everywhere while u tell me what I'm licking in medical terms

Posting this mostly for grammar. This could end up being a hilarious game? Although as a soon-to-be medical professional, playing doctor/nurse ranks soooooo low down on my kink radar that I'm not sure this wouldn't be a massive turn-off.

And then there was this:

I wonder if we would butt heads since im against western medicine...im all about natural healing which our system despises (cuz there is no money to be made from it and it actually fixes your symptoms...unlike pills that hide it) lol

Like...dude, I've dedicated years of my life to studying medicine. Why on earth would I go out with someone who disrespects it? Christ.

This is why we can't have nice things part 2

So despite me not ever responding, this guy from a couple entries ago still keeps messaging me....

Oh FFS

So I went on two dates with this guy. He was nice enough, but I just wasn't interested. I still would probably have said good things about him to a friend if they asked "hey, should I go on a date with this dude?" And then....

marimbadude: I know you're busy, and you're really just looking for sex. How about you come over sometime Sunday and we can fuck however you like it. *growl*

Me: Seriously, dude?

marimbadude: Your profile under looking for only says casual sex. You made it pretty clear you didn't want to see me again for another date and that you didn't have time for things like that. So I figured I'd offer the sex. At least I got your attention. ;)


Congrats, you've now made it onto my blog! Ugh.

This is why we can't have nice things

I hate when a creepy rando from OKC recognizes me in public:

Of course.

A typical day on OKC:

Want a sugar daddy?
Sent Yesterday
Block them Report

What's the dollar amount attached to that?
Sent Yesterday

Depends on what you want.
Sent Yesterday

Well, my real daddy never got me a pony.
Sent Yesterday

lol... if that's what you want.
Sent Yesterday

I figure it's a start.
Sent Yesterday

you really interested?
Sent Yesterday

i know nothing about you, what you look like, or what your income level is.
Sent Yesterday

income level us 150,000 k a year. I am cute and tall.
Sent Yesterday

Yeah, I've learned not to take someone's word for that on the internet.
Sent Yesterday

I understand. But if those things were true would you be interested? I need this be be discrete and I need sex.
Sent Yesterday
• 
  Why the discretion?

  Sent Yesterday
• 
  im married

The Vellozeberry is back

With more gross messages for all y'all to see! All received within about a week's timespan. I'm just going to paste them in largely without commentary.

From a guy in Kansas:

you looking for a one nighter or a possible friends with benefits situation? if ur interested message me back btw ur extremely sexy, and it would be very hot to travel to come see you for a night of fun. ;p

From a 44 year old man:

Hey sexy,Why don't you take a chance and meet this "Old Fart"? I actually look nowhere close to my age & I am in really good shape.I would love to help you work out those knots in your shoulders. I am extremely good at massage.I know I have sent you a message before & you did not respond. If I don't hear back from you then I will not bother you again.Interested?
Rick

I had no idea how to respond to this: 

Send me a message or I'll come tickle your feet! Haha :P

"Juicy" is rarely a word I use for this: 

So what's the biggest juiciest dick you've ever had beautiful and how was it?;)

Wut:

What she wantsWhat she getsWhat she lovesWhat's her wishHer voiceHer touchHer loveHer lipsHer eyesWhat is her wish?What is her wish?I'll take her to beautiful placesShow her my beautiful friendsWe'll co-create some beautiful spacesAnd co-create a love that never endsI'll love her like a goddess as she learns the ways of graceIn touch with her sacred feminine she can't help but to pour her heart into the roomand put a smile on every faceHer universal power used for greatness.I had a dream about you last nightIt was really sweetThere will be a sequel

Offer for all you ladies:

Hey there I'm Benjamin and I was wondering if you'd like a great free massage it's not nude you just have to wear leggings. I'm in school to be a medical massage therapist and we have to get 20 hours of massages in for part of our final grade. I understand this sounds weird and a bit creepy but honestly I know no one around here seeing how I'm new to the STL area if your interested text me or call and I'll fill you in about the massage and all 618-708-1158